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Sep 14, 2023

Buckle up, folks. In this episode, we expose Fiona as the world's worst matchmaker. Yeah, she introduced The Kid to one of her "work friends," and let's just say, it' was probably a bad idea gone right. We dive into the twisted art of new lady pals, and spoiler alert: it's not the humans, it's the damn couches that are to blame. Fiona plays Mother Teresa, tucking everyone in with blankets like it's a damn slumber party. At one point, she even suggests The Kid should crash in her bed. Oh, and let's not forget the tale of everyone's favorite midget almost getting a Glock facial. We cover the essentials: aim your load, party like a rockstar, and leave your mess for someone else to clean. All this and more, right by the pond where sanity goes to die. Fiona leaves certain individuals with a warning, but by then, you'll be too hooked to care. Dive in, if you dare.

Edgy Timeline

  • 1:00 - Slather your balls in peanut butter, 'cause why not?
  • 2:00 - Bar hopping and Bell's Brewery: A love story
  • 3:00 - You're the whole damn package, and don't you forget it
  • 4:00 - Hot mustard Doritos: The snack of champions or chumps?
  • 5:00 - Fiona's chair: The real culprit behind bad decisions
  • 6:00 - When the room temperature rises, so do your regrets
  • 7:00 - Blame the couch, the enabler of awkward human Tetris
  • 8:00 - Sneak in, but don't expect a warm welcome, just cold steel
  • 9:00 - Star-crossed idiots or a match made in chaos?
  • 10:00 - From zero to busted: The art of getting caught
  • 11:00 - Lips, hips, and other tips for a steamy night
  • 12:00 - Crabby Patties: Google it, skeptics
  • 13:00 - Family time vs. sexy time: The eternal struggle
  • 14:00 - Nostalgia for the days of yard work and zero responsibility
  • 15:00 - Adulting: The horror movie you can't escape
  • 16:00 - The aftermath: A sea of empty cans and regret
  • 17:00 - How much of a disaster zone did we leave?
  • 18:00 - Bonfires: The forbidden fruit of suburban rebels
  • 19:00 - Eat shit and die, but make it poetic